Raising up a Lifestyle Designer(Or Atleast a Cultured Child)

October 27, 2007

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My wife and I have two beautiful children. Alivia, our little girl, is 4 and is ALL girl. She despises dirt, loves anything that is pink or purple( or frilly), adores make up and is in love with all of the Disney Princess movies. Zeke, our little boy , will turn 2 in January and is completely ALL boy. He loves the outdoors, adores  animals of any kind, gets excited about any kind of sport, and even enjoys wrestling with dogs 3 times his size. They are complete opposites and have been one of my biggest blessings on this earth.

Alivia is already starting to dream and her imagination is a wild one. From professional ballerina to astronaut, even the desire to be a mermaid for Disney…….. to her the world is at her reach. For that reason , who am I to tell her any different. In a few short years, the same will be the way with Zeke. The fact that children can dream beyond our comprehension about what the future holds for them is both a challenge and a inspiration. It is the dichotomy that life has not stolen away their desires and aspirations of dare i say it……dream lining, and setting a course to be what they want to be and accomplish what they want to accomplish.
THE ESSENCE OF LIFESTYLE DESIGN: CHILDHOOD

This is only my opinion, but I believe that everyone has a small lifestyle designer in them at some point in their childhood. It is the inner voice that tells us that we can dream of doing something wonderful with our life and that we wont fall prey to the ho-hum conundrum of every day life. I mean , seriously, how many kids do you know that DREAM of living an average life behind an average desk and following an average mundane routine for their entire life. I certainly never knew any while I was growing up as a child, and I have not seen any since to be honest. As children, it is actually expected of us to dream big and to “reach for the stars”. Any proud parent would agree.

Where and why in life are we either told or expected to stop? The usual scenario is one that plays out as so…

1) Child grows up dreaming(possibly even dream lining) about goals and projects he/she wants to accomplish in life.

2) Child becomes young adult, goes to school, and eventually to college. Although his/her dreams and aspirations may change, the fact usually remains that there is INDEED still a dream or goal that they want to accomplish. They usually think college will factor into this . Sometimes it does through a placebo effect, and other times it does not.

3) Young adult graduates college. At this point the dream that they have held onto for so long is usually smacked by the “reality” of life, which is a joke all be it. The young adult is forced to let release of the dream/aspiration and is usually met with open arms by a “real world job”.

4) Real world job turns into 45 years of mundane bouncing around between jobs/professions only to find that retirement sits pretty at the end, where you meet up with it……usually two old and worn out to dream any longer.

AM I A LOON AND AM I SAYING WE SHOULD NEVER GROW UP?

By no means! I mean come on, I have watched Peter Pan with my daughter hundreds of times to know that we all must meet life at some point. However, my belief is that at the heart of the matter we alone decide (when we do meet life) whether we will design it or it will design us. That is the challenge that each lifestyle designer has truthfully embraced with open arms, and at the core of it remains the heart and faith of a child.

Children have the faith and strength to believe that life itself can be contorted to either work to their advantage or be the stepping stone of dreams. Lifestyle designers, rightfully so, do as well.

It is for this reason that I cannot wait to see what my children have rolled up their sleeves as far as future plans. In Part 2 of this post I will explain what I truly believe can and should be done to help nurture your children’s little lifestyle designer within them and help them reach their aspirations. If you have children and have a desire to see them truly live life to the fullest you do not want to miss it. These are viable tips that I am already seeing make a difference in the lives of both of my children.

Also , the NEW AND OFFICIAL LIFEJOTTER DOMAIN will be going public in the next couple of days. For those of you who have remained loyal as a reader these past months , it will only get more enhanced from here on out.

Possibly a cash prize contest to be held the first day of websistance? Check back to see. Until you see it before your eyes, just check out this simple little commercial of Lifejotter TV that officially hit youtube the other day. Simple, I know….but that’s the point.

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11 Responses to “Raising up a Lifestyle Designer(Or Atleast a Cultured Child)”


  1. How you raise your children will be the biggest long term impact you have on the world. What you show your children by example will be far more important than anything you ever say to them.

    PS – Buck, if you don’t me offering a small bit of free, unsolicited blogging advice, you really have two posts here. One on children and the importance of childhood-ness (as opposed to childishness — which something altogether different), and one on the video. You should put the video one in a separate post (and embed it if you can in the post so we can watch it here). My 2 cents, but I ain’t a blog coach for nothin’! :D


  2. Oh yeah… I’m looking forward to the new digs! I really liked the name Lifestyle Maverick, but LifeJotter has a real upbeat feel to it. I like it, too.


  3. Fascinating (yep you introduce two really interesting themes here, possibly three)

    Certainly alot of where do you stand on the ‘nature/nature’ debate here.

    With regard to ‘childishness’ There is, for me a difference between ‘child-like’ with its aspects of curiosity and playfulness and ‘childish’ with its aspects of irresponsibility. As adults we should try and keep the former in my view. I am reminded of a quote from Sophie’s World (J.Gaarder) here – “long before the child learns to talk properly and long before it learns to think philosophically
    the world will have become a habit” It is this habit that we get into that leads us towards the 40 something ‘world -view wake up calls’ – known as a Levinson Transition(of which we may have more than one)when we look back and look forward and realise what is being taken for granted.

    As for what a parent ‘should do’, we might be mindful of the ‘life messages’ we impart (see Virginia Satir for e.g. blamer , placator etc) onto our kids. I believe on the most general level, we have the opportunity to impart some key values (are mine the same as your though!) such as respect for others, their property, and other living things, keep a curious mind, recognise the charlatans and manipulators in the world and stand up to them.

    As for ‘designing’ a childs life, I feel that smacks(sic) of being concerned with ‘our’ need to control an uncertain future rather than the growth of a child. Our rule must surely to be to ‘guide’ not ‘legislate’.

    At a deeper level, if you agree with Eric Berne then we all as children design our ‘life-script’ very early and run it regardless, and parental influence plays its part there too…and so…

    You must accept everything if have said so far, if you don’t that is really bad and there will be consequences for you.

    Now, how did I make you feel reading that!!! :)

  4. jennifer Says:

    You know how I feel about kids in general. However, I respect yours and treat them miles better than I do any other ones. Oh yeah! I am entering this contest I have been trying to get you to give me money for years!

  5. bunk1980 Says:

    First off , let me thank all of you for the great information and opinions that you all are sharing. You will see in Part 2 of this post why exactly I put in parenthesis the “Or a Cultured Child) and hopefully see how it ties into the lifestyle designer angle I am engaging from. With that said…

    @ Martin – I agree that the way that you bring up your child is the biggest contribution you will pay to this world. That is why I believe that above all you should teach your child to expect his/her best efforts from himself( and not try to live up to others expectations). If a child is happy with himself, then good things will follow.

    And yes, you are indeed the blog expert on the double post. Perhaps a rookie mistake on my part. Thanks so much for the timely heads up.

    @ Robinson – You speak with much wisdom my friend. Welcome to the blog and I will always welcome your opinion as well as your view. You bring up many hearty subjects, all of which I welcome…..what would a discussion be without.

    And yes, while your views are challenging, they do make the mind think and for that I thank you. Please stick around!!

    @ Jen – I better hold onto my Paypal account in fear of exactly how much money you may try to drain out of this one!! Enter away and to the best man/woman…the due rewards LOL.

  6. Tina Says:

    Hi Bunk

    Hey – thank you for popping by my site and leaving a comment… Naturally I came to have a peek at what you’re up to, and I’m so pleased I did!

    We certainly are like minded. I’m currently in the process of (hopefully) realising my dreams, and can relate to what you are saying about people losing perspective on what they dream once they reach early adulthood life. Society and people have a huge tendancy to suppress our imaginations.. in the name of comformity…

    I love the idea of lifestyle designer.. I have decided that the traditional lifestyle is not for me at all, and am in fact carving out my own… Your blog is an inspiration, and a comfort…

    It will also compliment my revamped one quite nicely – so I hope we read a lot more of each other in the future :-)

    All the best


  7. This is great Bunk – I love how you combined your personal story in with your passion for lifestyle design – that is wonderful. I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out when my dreams took a turn for the mundane and when I snapped out of it…

    I think it started at around 19 when I moved to California and decided that I wanted to become “an adult.” So I took a job at a bank… and then an insurance company… agh! How lame. I guess I just modeled every other adult I knew and thought that’s the way it was supposed to be! Thank goodness I came to my senses. :D

    Wonderful, thought provoking post as usual ~

  8. bunk1980 Says:

    @ Tina – Welcome to the site!! I can tell just from your small amount of input that you could add a lot to the commentary around here. Please stick around! And by the way, I really like your blog.

    @ Christina – You bring about an interesting point in what is perceived as “adulthood” in regard to work and acquiring a job. What I am trying to portray, and what I hope is seen, is that I believe no child ever “dreams” of living a mundane life and fitting a certain cubicle mold.

    Thanks for your kind words as always and for letting us look into your past work related experiences!

  9. zensatori Says:

    Bunk,
    Thanks for stopping by my blog, and leaving the well wishes. I have just gone through your archives and really like what I have found there. I am going to add your blog to my blogroll, you have some good stuff about Lifestyle Design.

    I am intrigued by lifejotter.net and I’m looking forward to finding out more about it.

    Zen
    projectnomad.wordpress.com

  10. bunk1980 Says:

    Zen,

    Sorry about the prolonged reply… I have had a down laptop. Thank you also for the kind words and I hope that any future material will only help your own endeavors prosper.

  11. WarriorBlog Says:

    I’m glad your post pointed that out Bunk.

    Many kids here in the USA grow up in school where they are expected to go to school, college, and get a job…they aren’t allowed to have fun in school and use their imagination.

    I think it’s ridiculous what they teach in school! Many won’t find those general knowledge helpful and they don’t get taught anything about midset, success, money, etc.

    I’m glad you brought this up :)


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