Brown-Nosing It, and How to Not Make Your Nose Smell Like Poop

October 2, 2007

This post of The Lifestyle Maverick blog is devoted to an art that has been handed down through generation upon generation. It is a tactile and albeit testimony to what an individual can accomplish when they put there mind to a certain grindstone. What is this art that transcends all others you ask? It is the simple act of brown nosing, or rather “Getting in Good” with others. There is a simple moniker given to this art of brown nosing that most people refer to and that is one known as “schmoozing”.Schmoozing, brown nosing, or getting in good with others is infact a practiced art and one that , when applied , can open doors to individuals that once were not possible. Now dont get me wrong, I do not endorse rubbing elbows with individuals just for the sake of your betterment or so that you may get something out of it. However, I have figured out that it is easier to make a sale, create joint ventures, or build partnerships with people that you already know than those you have just met. The key component is establishing a relationship before you need it. The key to doing this is found in the design of schmoozing.

Guy Kawasaki, a lifelong entrepreneur and former Microsoft tech junkie, offers these invaluable tips to us on how to use schmoozing to set yourself up for success. Basically, a “How To” on rubbing elbows with others….

1. Understand The Goal- In his book The Frog and Prince: Secrets of Positive Networking to Change Your Life, Darcy Rezac gives the world’s best definition of shmoozing: “Discovering what you can do for someone else”. Great schmoozers want to know what they can do for you, not what you can do for them. If you understand this, the rest is just mechanics.

2. Get Out – Schmoozing is an analog, contact sport. You can’t do it alone from your office on the phone or via computer. Force yourself to go to trade shows, conventions and seminars. Get out there and press flesh.

3. Ask Good Questions, Then Shut Up - The mark of a good conversationalist is not that you can talk a lot; it is that you can get others to talk a lot. Ask questions like “What do you do?” “Where are you from?” “What brings you here?” Then listen. Ironically, you’ll be remembered as an interesting person.

4. Unveil Your Passions - Talking only about business, the matter at hand, etc. is boring. Your passions make you interesting. Good schmoozers unveil their passions after they get to know you. Great schmoozers lead with their passions.

5. Follow Up - In his career Guy has been said to have given away thousands of business cards. If all those people called or emailed him , he would never get anything done. The funny thing: Hardly anyone ever follows up. Great schmoozers follow up within 24 hours — a short email will do. Include one thing that shows the recipient isn’t getting a canned email. ” Nice to meet you. I hope we can do something together. I loved your Breitling watch. I have two tickets to the Stanley Cup Finals if you are interested.”

6. Make It Easy to Contact You - Many people who want to be great schmoozers don’t make it easy to get in touch. They do not carry business cards, or their cards do not have phone numbers and email addresses. Even if they do have the information, it is written in gray 6-point type. This is great if you re schmoozing teenagers, but if you want old, rich, famous and powerful people to call or email you, use 12-point font.

7. Give Favors - One of my great pleasures in life is helping other people; I believe there is a big Karmic schoreboard in the sky. God is keeping track of the good that you do unto others , and He is particularly pleased when you give favors without the expectation of return from the recipient. The scoreboard always pays back.

8. Ask for Favors in Return – Good schmoozers give favors and return favors. But great schmoozers ask for favors to be returned. You may find this puzzling: Isn’t it better to keep someone indebted to you? No, because keeping someone indebted puts undue pressure on your relationship. By asking for and receiving a return favor, you relieve the pressure and set up a whole new round of give and take. After a few rounds, you will be the best of friends, and you will have mastered the art of schmoozing.

Your thoughts? Does schmoozing help elevate relationships ? Rather yet, do relationships hold a certain systematic design, like all other things in life? If so, doe schmoozing hold a key in being able to unlock certain relationships as well as bend others to your advantage? God, I probably sound like a mad scientist right now….

14 Responses to “Brown-Nosing It, and How to Not Make Your Nose Smell Like Poop”

  1. CatherineL Says:

    This is a brilliant post, and it is so true. Once you have schmoozed for a few years, it comes naturally. I think you naturally gravitate toward the people you find interesting, and the rest just happens.

    And your point on getting out and meeting people is so true. Since I relocated my office to home, I have been guilty of cooping myself up. But, when I get out to a networking meeting I feel so much better.


  2. Wonderful post! These are some very though provoking points. My favorite is definitly #1 – “Discovering what you can do for someone else”. Great schmoozers want to know what they can do for you, not what you can do for them. If you understand this, the rest is just mechanics.

    It’s interesting to see this process that I would normally attribute to a personality trait, broken out in clearly defined steps.

    This is exciting because it means that people who don’t consider themselves to be good schmoozers can learn how to become great at it and begin to develop some very important relationships they may have been missing out on by being too closed off.

    And thought the term “schmoozing” may have somewhat of a negative connotation, these points are really just the foundation of a healthy, balanced personal or business relationship.

    Excellent – I’m bookmarking this one!!

    Christine

  3. bunk1980 Says:

    @ Catherine – Thanks for stopping by and sharing all your input with us! I agree that you do tend to naturally gravitate towards individuals you are interested in. And yes, being out and mobile is very important. I have experience on both sides with that one. Thanks so much again!

    @ Christine – You describe this as personality traits being broken into defined steps. To me , even personalites can put into systemized mechanics. And yes even individuals who may not be outgoing can teach theirselves this art.

    Thanks for stopping by! Always great to hear your input.

  4. Tina Fukuchi Says:

    This post has many valuable points. I agree that building relationships before you need it is key. For me, some of my key relationships have been formed merely by asking questions and listening to what they had to say as well as schmoozing in general.

  5. bunk1980 Says:

    Tina,

    To me the art of simply listening can be the most valuable tool one can use in order to form relationships. If people can trust you as a listener when they are simply chit-chatting, they will soon learn to trust you to listen to their more valuable wisdom as well. It opens many doors.

    Always good to see you here!


  6. Listening like you mean it and following up are the two things everyone seems to have trouble with. Well, okay, maybe I’m saying that I have trouble with them! ;)

    Get out is valuable advice, as well. Online social networks aren’t half as good as real-world facetime.

  7. WarriorBlog Says:

    Wow Bunk, you write quality and advanced posts – I understand this one though.

    Those are all excellent tips if you want to work together with anyone in a business :-)

    Thanks for visiting Bunk and Take care,
    Sean

  8. Jennifer Says:

    Well I can kinda smooze people! this is a great article once again. I am so glad that you have found an outlet for all of your saavy. Cheers

  9. bunk1980 Says:

    @ Sean – HaHa. It is always nice when someone can understand my posts. And these tips can deffinatly be applied to anyone wanting to work in business. By the way I have noticed you are rather a savy businessman yourself.

    @ Jen – I guess you made it to the other side safely huh hun? Thanks for the kind words . I send you and your beau my regards. You have to stay in touch!

  10. WarriorBlog Says:

    Thanks! I am alway serious, rarely smile :O

    Take care,
    Sean

  11. Sonia Simone Says:

    Great post! I am working on being a better schmoozer. Too bad I can’t just write schmoozy lines on an index card and hand them over. Darned meatspace anyway.

    The timeliness one is big–you can have a perfectly nice conversation at a networking event or whatever, but then you’ve got to get in there quick with a follow up.

  12. bunk1980 Says:

    Sonia,

    Thank you for stopping by! I agree the follow up is vital to a flourishing networking relationship. And if index cards were an option then I would be king.

  13. BillyWarhol Says:

    Yeah FollowUp is Key*

    I have handed out so many Biz Cards + Promo Pieces over the Years – prolly even more than Guy!!

    However I got Lazy + haven’t always Followed Up promptly the way I should have*

    I used to be a Fervent user of ACT! for Contact Mgmt – - thee only way to effectively keep track + followup*

    When U get beyond 20 or 50 people it is the only way U can do it properly*

    Especially if U wanna Meet + Date Girls!!

    Yer right – Ask them to a Hockey Game, a Fashion Show, an Art Opening – anything – Yer Dating Odds will Improve Dramtically!!

    ;PPP

  14. bunk1980 Says:

    I agree Billy, follow up is a very vital part of ‘getting in’ with people, whether it be business associates or members of the oposite sex.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

%d bloggers like this: